60% of Australian small business fail within the first 3 years, 20% within the first year. To make it to 11 years has been an effort and a privilege. When I realised the numbers, I thought I would share some of the main lessons I have learnt in my business. I have held off on writing such a post over the years, mostly because I didn’t believe that I would make much difference. This year, with the lessons I have learnt, I have reaffirmed my belief that impacting one person is enough.
Over the past 11 years, this business has had a number of faces:
– proof-reader & copy editor
– social media marketing
– business coach
– business psychology consultant.
One thing has remained the same, me, and my focus on keeping impact and people at the centre of my business. So you might expect that this article will be filled with tips and tools on how to make more money, have a greater impact, or to go viral. If this is you, then you’d be new to this page or missed the bit about my focus being on people & impact. What I have is 11 lessons I have learnt in 11 years in business that will suit most business owners, regardless of industry, product, or service.
TL;DR – 11 Business Lessons in 11 Years
After more than a decade in business, I’ve learned that success isn’t about following a formula—it’s about knowing yourself, setting boundaries, and building a business that works for you. Here are my top 11 lessons:
- Locus of control & boundaries – Focus on what you can control, and don’t let others drain your energy.
- The power of purpose – Passion fades, but purpose keeps you moving forward.
- Being different comes with challenges – It can be isolating, but staying true to yourself is worth it.
- Paying yourself is non-negotiable – A business that doesn’t support you isn’t sustainable.
- People are at the heart of business – Prioritize relationships, impact, and connection.
- You’re not yelling into a vacuum – New ideas take time to gain traction, but persistence pays off.
- Your website is your domain, social media is rented space – Own your audience, don’t rely on platforms you can’t control.
- Advice is not a recommendation – Take advice with a grain of salt; not all of it applies to your business.
- Your values shape your business – They define boundaries, attract the right people, and create lasting success.
- People show you how they want to be treated – Watch their actions, not just their words.
- Bad things happen—learn the lesson and move forward – Growth comes from how you respond to challenges.
Jump to the full summary here.
The locus of control business lesson
My Mum always says, ‘the only person you can control is yourself’. During my degree I learnt about internal and external locus of control. As I write this, I am reading Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins. You would think I would have been all over this and known precisely who I was & never let anything outside of my control bother me. Nope.
In 2024 I was called to support members of my family through differing life-threatening health conditions. It was in the middle of one of these that I realised and internalised that I was not in control and that I had to surrender my need to control and focus on what was within my control. Fast forward 3 months and I was approached to help a counsellor with their imposter syndrome. After the initial call, we set up our first session to ensure they were a good fit. They cancelled. I rescheduled. They cancelled. Always at the last minute. Always with an excuse. Going into these sessions, I had advised that I had a small window to work within, and they agreed to work within it. Red flags were going off & I terminated the agreement & offered to refer them to other practitioners who could help them. I was met with abuse about not keeping my word that I wasn’t going to cancel on them like others they’d approach to help with the issue.
Normally I would have continued to try to make it work. I realised that their cancelling at last minute was within their control, not mine. I acknowledged that the reasons for the cancellations were theirs and it was not for me to see the worthiness of the reasons. It was within my control to continue the relationship, to accept (or not) their behaviour, and to offer a solution.
Boundaries & locus of control
At its most basic, concentrating on what is within your control creates a boundary. That’s why people often refer to the circles of control, we have a line or boundary drawn. Realising what is within your control and not allowing others to negatively impact that is creating a boundary. Ensuring that it stays that way is holding the boundary.
As a reforming people-pleaser, this has not been a straight-forward task. It takes effort and conscious reminding of what is within my control.
Don’t let anyone waste your time & locus of control
It was clear, by the time I decided to cancel the agreement with this customer, that they were used to manipulating situations to be the victim. I’ve lived with this in the past and was not prepared to tolerate this again. I knew that their blaming of other coaches was that they did not like having boundaries put in place & were used to getting their own way. I was not prepared to tolerate this. If someone comes to me for my help and cannot keep their end of the agreement, I can leave. If they’re not prepared to put in the time, then they are wasting my time.
I get to control who I spend my time on and with. I decide who and what I give my time to and who I sell my time to. The right people will wait and the right people respect this.
We all get to control what is within our control, to use it to form & hold boundaries, & to decide who has access to us and our time. This is our life & our business.
The business lesson of the power of purpose
Purpose is one of my 2 ‘North Stars’ of business, values is the other. I had a number of business owner friends saying how they were feeling lost and not being one for coincidence, I looked into purpose. I read about ikigai, took some online purpose tests, & realised a gaping hole in what was available.
While businesses often have their mission, vision, & purpose documents gathering dust, back in the ‘00s I learnt the importance of aligning purpose to work. It is a huge motivating factor for employees. The question is, how do you apply that to business owners?
I’ve been fortunate enough to know that psychology is my purpose. But not all business owners know theirs. They often fall into business through necessity, often the need for flexibility that employment can’t provide. It’s the reason women own such a large proportion of micro-businesses.
Purpose has helped:
– ignore the people who advise on what should be done based on what their fears would allow
– quieten the noise of social media
– focus, especially when times get hard
– hold boundaries
– refocus business after burnout
– engage disillusioned business owners
– remind business owners why they started
I’ve had to learn and relearn this lesson a few times before I trusted myself, my purpose, & the difference I make. Unfortunately the noise of social media drowns out these meaning that I compared them to what I saw as the ideal business model. I was wrong. I was also deeply unhappy until I made the shift.
Passion is nice but purpose is a long burn
Passion is often associated with drive. When we are passionate or driven to do something, we feel personally satisfied or accomplished. Purpose is rarely finished. We keep striving to achieve our purpose. Wanting to do more.
Our purpose is powerful and persistent, serving as a compass to our happiness. Numerous research studies have demonstrated that aligning our purpose with our professional activities results in increased job satisfaction. When we are happy in our work, we become more productive. Moreover, satisfied employees lead to satisfied clients, which in turn encourages clients to spend more.
Purpose gives clarity to why a business chooses a particular path or approach.
Purpose is important to ensuring the sustainability of workplace culture.
Purpose helps forge resilience in difficult situations or times.
You can read more about how they differ in my blog specifically about purpose vs passion.
The business lesson about being different
The irony of this lesson is that it came before I learnt an internal locus of control & the importance of my purpose for my business. I realised years before that I was different. In fact, one of the first books I read when I started consulting was Blue Ocean Strategy by Kim & Mauborgne. It sits in plain sight on the bookshelf in my office. It’s a reminder.
The reality of a blue ocean in business
For those who haven’t read the book, and I have and it’s a slog, a blue ocean is where you are out in a new marketplace/industry. Think of Uber vs taxis and when self-check in came in on flights vs heading to a counter. It’s revolutionising an industry with a new way of delivering the same outcome. It can be a scary and lonely place.
When you’re delivering the same outcome in a different way, you are constantly reminded of your difference. It takes a lot of dedication to your purpose and a strong internal locus of control to stay the course. I admit there have been many times where I have strayed but I am compelled to return. I have found comfort in the glimmers of others speaking more about aspect of what I do. I feel less alone.
Different can be isolating
I have lost business mentors and friends because I can not ignore my purpose. (I’ve tried, it doesn’t end well) What happens is that they can only support me whilst I fit within parameters where they are comfortable that I operate and within those they are comfortable operating. Step outside of these and refuse to fall back into line, they can’t cope.
It hurts when this happens, but since I have focused on what is within my control, I realise that it’s in our best interests to part. I am ok with that. I want people who challenge me to be a better version of myself, not them.
Online & reality are often different
Very early on I followed 2 popular Australian female business coaches. I admired them for their brashness. They regularly posted about their achievements. I was in awe. Then one day, one of them posted their profit and loss. I was in awe. Most of their revenue was spent in ads. They were barely profitable. At that point, I realised that I couldn’t trust what people showed online & they often only showed the best of it. The next part after this was that emulating other business owners based on their social media was a bad idea.
Different is fine if it’s me
Being a personal brand has meant learning to be ok with being me and promoting me. That means that I get to be as different as I like. It’s my business. It’s based on my knowledge and experience. I get to do it my way. There’s only one way to do my business, my way.
Different comes with consequences
The big lesson of being different is that it comes with consequences. I am not following some formula for growth, I tried and hated cookie-cutter repetitive service-based businesses. It meant that I am constantly fending off the rhetoric around x-figure business growth. I love my business. I love my clients. I love the income I earn. Most of all I love the impact my business has on my clients and what it affords me and my family. I will forgo the x-figure business growth if the cost is to my impact & what I get to do with my family.
The business lesson about paying myself
Before I went into consulting, I had a handmade business. I did not pay myself, not one cent. I fell into the belief that I should be piling my money back into the business. It’s no wonder that I grew to resent receiving orders.
When I moved into consulting, I decided to pay myself first. About 3 years ago, I implemented profit first and that has seen another increase in my happiness around running my own business. I enjoy the quarterly profit distributions and how I am able to do things for my family or myself.
The business lesson about people as the centre of business
Human-centred business has been the stalwart over these 11 years. This section however is not so much about what I do but more so why I do it.
People at the centre of business and volunteering
I started volunteering when I was at university. I volunteered in my old Primary School French class, I volunteered to do art therapy at the Schizophrenia Foundation. Through the years, my volunteering has been greatly aligned with what I am doing.
I currently volunteer as an alumna of Flinders University in their Schools of Business, Government, & Law and Arts. I mentor final year, Masters, and graduates primarily in leadership, marketing, business, and career development. I enjoy listening to their enthusiasm for their chosen field and to help them grow past their knowledge and into their career. I am drawn to giving back to the place that taught me the skills I draw on today.
Having previously lectured in HR & marketing, I much preferred the conversations and watching as my students’ knowledge grew. As a mentor, I still see this. (without the marking & office politics)
Impact and having people at the centre of business
My favourite story about impact was when I travelled to Sydney for my first interstate speaking gig. I was speaking about the psychology of social media at a social media event. I was so anxious as I waited to go up on stage, directly after Facebook. I spoke for 3o minutes, without AV, and when I came back to my seat the person in front of me turned and said, “I am a Marketing & Psychology student from Queensland, I travelled down to hear you speak because I want to see if you can combine the two as you have”. It showed me that I was already influencing future generations and the industry.
Over the years, clients tell me how they have reconfigured their business and found increased happiness & income, overcome fear & imposter syndrome, and gone on to great success with traditional business coaching. Seeing people happy in their business & having their business work for them is incredibly rewarding.
The business lesson that you may feel like you’re yelling into a vacuum, you’re not alone
So part of this relates to being different, which I wrote about earlier, most of it relates to being a business owner who choses to grow a business in a novel section or way in their industry. It can be difficult when you know you make a difference but you just don’t feel like you are being heard.
There are a few things to consider with this:
– there is a lot of noise online
– the law of diffusion of innovation (it takes time)
Established and establishing businesses are all shouting through the same social media platform megaphones, you are likely not to be seen.
The law of diffusion of innovation states that you will appeal to those who are passionate about new ideas, the industry you’re in or novel ways to do things. But you will eventually reach around 25-30% of the audience and things will start to tip in your favour.
You’re not alone. This is the traditional path of all business. Most businesses will take years to get to the chasm and tipping point. This is nothing new.
The business lesson of your website is your domain, social media is rented real estate – don’t confuse them
I’m honestly surprised how many business owners are still up in arms when a social media platform goes down. You have no control over getting a social media platform back online, unlike your website that you can call in resources to get it back online.
Following on from not being able to control social media, you don’t even know how the algorithm works and it’s constantly changing. You can try to influence this but it’s not as likely as you using good search engine optimisation (SEO) driving traffic to your website.
Following on from websites & SEO, selling on social media does happen but is it where your audience goes to solve their problem or do they “Google it” or watch a YouTube? If your audience does go to social media, it’s more likely to be that they are asking their friends for advice or recommendations and not actually shopping.
Social media is where you get to be social and people buy from those they know, like, and trust. How you do that is on social media. Social media is a place we go, especially as small business owners, to have connection, so please use it to be social about yourself & business.
One of the iterations of this business was running Meta ads as an agency. What I learnt, other than hating the repetitiveness, is that retargeting ads are still the most cost-effective form of advertising & work especially well when you use the data the platform holds to your advantage (think dynamic ads & pixels).
The business lesson of advice is not a recommendation
People give advice for many different reasons. Some want to help by changing your thoughts or behaviours. Some want to control. Some want to be heard. All come from
the same place with their advice. Their advice is:
– based on their experience
– based on their fears/ limits
– based on their understanding of where you are & what you do.
Now they may have it right but they are more likely to not have the whole picture. So what I recommend is to listen but remember it’s your business and take it or leave it, there are consequences to your choice regarding their advice.
The business lesson of your values matter to your business
Before I learnt the science behind aligning your values to your business to secure happy workplaces, happy clients, more profitable business, & boundaries, I knew that your values matter more than having them on the wall.
Values tell us what you stand for. They tell us if you’re our kind of person. Values can help organise collaborations. They are more than a statement you hang on the wall. Values are a declaration about how you do business.
The business lesson that people show you what you mean to them & how they want you to treat them
Remember the red flag counsellor I had who kept putting off our appointments and then got angry with me? Their behaviour taught me that they didn’t value my time & was used to people bending to their behaviour and not putting in boundaries.
So what are you showing people about what they mean to you & how you want to be treated?
Are you a people pleaser? Do you not respond to calls or emails? Does imposter syndrome stop you (and your business)? Or are you like my red flag client?
How you show up teaches your clients and staff what they mean to you & how you want to be treated. If you constantly offer discounts, over deliver, or get talked down on price & the like it show people that you don’t value yourself and what you do. It also shows them that you won’t put in or hold boundaries, so they can treat you how they please. Hint: that’s not good customer service.
The small business lesson that bad things happen, learn from the lesson
I hope by now you can see that I’ve had some bad experiences, I can tell you there are more and some have cost me relationships and money. The benefit I have is years of working in quality assurance where I was trained to look into what has happened in the past, consider what the best and right course of action is, and then relayed what needs to be done and/or changed moving forward. I understand that realising that something bad has happened hurts but as I say to my teenagers, “it’s ok to be upset, just don’t set up camp there”. Or in other words, you can feel hurt/disappointment/guilt/shame but don’t dwell in it.
I’ve mentioned earlier about locus of control & some of you may have read Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins, but the important thing is to focus on what is within your control. Did you have control over what happened & could have influenced it? Do you have control over how you feel about the situation? Do you have control over any or all of what happens as a result? Does it really matter?
Honestly, this is where I go back to my QA and look at what I contributed, what I can do differently in the future and I move on. Learn the lesson, own what is yours, commit to the change you can control in the future.
Final thoughts on my small business lessons: 11 years, 11 lessons
After 11 years in business, the biggest lesson I’ve learned is that success isn’t just about strategies or milestones—it’s about self-awareness, boundaries, and staying true to what matters. From understanding what’s in my control to embracing my purpose, from valuing my time to accepting that being different comes with challenges, each lesson has shaped the way I do business today.
Here are the 11 lessons that have made the biggest impact:
- Locus of control & boundaries – Focus on what’s within your control and don’t let others dictate your time or energy.
- The power of purpose – Passion fades, but purpose keeps you moving forward.
- Being different comes with challenges – Standing out can feel isolating, but staying true to yourself is worth it.
- Paying yourself is non-negotiable – A sustainable business supports you, not just itself.
- People are at the heart of business – Prioritise relationships, impact, and connection.
- You’re not yelling into a vacuum – It takes time for new ideas to gain traction, but persistence pays off.
- Your website is your domain, social media is rented space – Own your audience, don’t rely on platforms you can’t control.
- Advice is not a recommendation – Filter advice through your own values and goals.
- Your values shape your business – They help define boundaries, attract the right people, and build sustainable success.
- People show you how they want to be treated – Pay attention to behaviour, not just words.
- Bad things happen—learn the lesson and move forward – Challenges are inevitable, but growth comes from what you do next.
I’ve learned that business is deeply personal. It’s about the people we choose to work with, the values we stand by, and the impact we create. It’s about building something sustainable, not just profitable. And most importantly, it’s about continuously learning, evolving, and remembering that setbacks are just stepping stones to something greater.
If there’s one thing I hope you take from these lessons, it’s this: your business should work for you—not the other way around.
