So I did something I wouldn’t normally do. I boosted a post promoting my event across Instagram & Facebook. You could say that I brought this on myself, not using my pixel and trusting my marketing to the Meta megalith to promote a workshop on overcoming imposter syndrome to their masses.
I trusted because I was time poor and thought, “What could go wrong?” Whatever might happen, I could handle. Did I imagine the backlash I would face in the comments? No. Why? Because I didn’t expect anyone would see my ad. I was wrong. I should have realised that this is where the seedy underbelly of social media lies in wait.
The Fear of Judgment in Business That Kept Me Small (Until It Didn’t)
Most of my clients aren’t like me. And to be honest, I used to be a lot like them. I used to fear the comments more than the post itself. You know the feeling. You finally muster the courage to share something that matters, something that puts your work, your face, your message out there.
And then… You brace. You brace for the criticism, the smug comments, the eye-roll emojis.
That’s the grip of fear of judgment.
It’s not in your head. It’s real & it paralyses businesses. Fear of judgment is one of the most deeply wired social survival instincts we have as humans. It’s the part of our brain that still believes being rejected by the group might actually kill us.
And in business? That fear can hijack your visibility, silence your voice, and keep you hiding behind ‘safe’ posts that never really say what you mean.
So when the comments did arise on this post, I didn’t expect my reaction. (Keep reading)
Why Fear of Judgment in Business Feels So Personal (But Rarely Is)
It started with one comment. “Sounds like a load of Melbourne bullshit to me.” Wow! OK. Whatever that’s meant to mean. Is it mean? Is it a troll? Do I block, delete, move on?
But it didn’t stop there. Other comments rolled in. Some were laughing along. Some questioning my credibility. I mean, one even said I wasn’t the real Kara Lambert. Dude, have you googled my name? I’m a golfer, a local council member, I don’t know who I am!
And then there were those trying to take me down a notch in ways that weren’t even clever, just mean. Actually, they weren’t just mean. They were degrading to women and even called me passive-aggressive. Talk about trying to belittle me back into a box. Oh, and clearly doesn’t know the real Kara Lambert either. There is nothing passive about my aggressive. I’ve gone from complete avoidance to taking it head-on.
But these comments were exactly what my fear of judgment used to convince me would happen. And for a long time, that fear worked. I’d post something vulnerable… then spiral. Or I’d go to promote an event or my success and then… I’d delete the post. Doubt myself. Obsess over the prospect of a few negative comments, that NEVER came, while ignoring the dozens of people who found value.
I’d let fear of judgment win. Because it felt safer to self-censor than to risk being seen… and judged.
The story I used to tell myself when someone judged me.
That their words must mean something about me.
That I wasn’t good enough.
That I wasn’t expert enough.
That I had no right to take up space.
That’s what fear of judgment in business does. But not this time. This time, something was different. I was different.
This time, I took a breath. I replied calmly. I blocked a few people. And then… I carried on with my day. No shaking hands, no spiralling thoughts at 3am, and definitely no stories about how I wasn’t good enough or how this proved I was a fraud.
Because here’s the truth no one tells you:
Judgment always says more about the person dishing it out than the one receiving it.
Their comments? They’re a mirror of their fears, their insecurities, their limitations.
They’re not about me. They never were.
And finally, I believed that.
The Shift That Changed Everything: Reclaiming My Internal Locus of Control
This didn’t happen overnight. I didn’t just wake up immune to judgment. I wish!
I spent years avoiding it. Hiding what I did, the difference I made to other business owners. I stayed small. I restrained myself to the point that they couldn’t, no, wouldn’t see me. If I couldn’t be seen, I couldn’t be criticised. I thought that if I protected myself, I would be ok. For some business owners, that’s a gruff exterior (I don’t care what they think), for others it’s a dark sense of humour (If I laugh at myself or with them, then that’s ok). None of it works.
The turning point, the thing that finally changed everything, wasn’t strategy.
It was understanding that I had to reclaim control. Specifically, internal locus of control.
Not the surface-level, head-nodding kind of knowing. Not the self-help book version where you say, “I know I can only control my actions.” I’m talking about a deep-in-your-bones knowing. A soul-level understanding that I control what I put out, how I respond, and how much space I allow someone else to take up in my head.
I also control my value and worth that I want the world to see. No one outside of me does that. I’m the one who gets to tell me that I am worthy, or in this instance – not.
That’s it. That’s what I control.
And the moment I stopped trying to control how people reacted, and focused only on what was mine to hold? That’s when I felt free. That’s when the comments stopped being hooks for my fear of judgment to latch onto. That’s when I could see the comments as what they were: noise. That’s when I realised I didn’t need to defend, overexplain, or spiral.
Because their judgment?
Not mine to own.
Not mine to control.
Not mine to carry.
The real work of overcoming fear of judgment in business is reclaiming your internal locus of control. It’s knowing, deeply, that you don’t control the trolls, the clients, the critics.
But you do control your response. And that’s more powerful than trying to win the internet’s approval ever will be.
None of it works because it’s giving the power over to someone else, to the person writing the comments. Putting them in control.
The real lesson about judgment as a business owner?
It’s not about avoiding judgment. It’s about becoming the kind of person who no longer lets it dictate your choices.
Because here’s the truth no one tells you:
Judgment says more about the person dishing it out than the one receiving it.
Their comments? They’re always a mirror of their own fears, insecurities, and shortcomings. They’re about their need to feel clever. Their discomfort with someone standing in their power.
Their fear that they’ll never have the courage to do the same.
And once you see that for what it is? You stop making their words mean anything about you.
You stop letting them hook into old stories that were never really yours to carry.
That’s what reclaiming your internal locus of control really looks like.
It’s not a mantra or mindset hack.
It’s a soul-deep knowing that you can’t control what people think, say, or post—but you can control what you make it mean about you. And that’s a kind of freedom no troll can take away.
The comments will keep coming. But when you stop outsourcing your self-trust to strangers on the internet? When you stop bending yourself to fit their comfort? That’s when you start running your business—and your life—on your terms.
But if you’re reading this, I want you to know something important: You’ve already taken the first brave step. You’ve named the fear. You’ve seen how fear of judgment in business shows up for you.
And that’s where your shift begins.
Now? It’s about moving from knowing to doing. From understanding the fear to rewriting the story it’s been telling you.
That’s where I can help. This is the work I do every day with business owners who are tired of fear of judgment calling the shots. We unpack it. We rewrite it. We build you strong so that other people’s opinions lose their grip.
If you’re ready to start that work, you can explore how we do that together. Because you don’t have to face fear of judgment alone. And you don’t have to let it run your business another day longer.
