These two words bring about thoughts of anger in every parent, competition in every sibling, and fear in every business owner. Yet as business owners, we need to be asking it more often than we do. To achieve more we need to be willing (and able) to step back and reassess. When dealing with difficult clients, these two words can change the way you approach the situation.
So what
I’m not asking a question, these are the words. While I understand it might seem abrupt and abrasive; it’s this that gives them their charm but also their jolting power. You see, it’s not until we are jolted from our comfort zone that we see and achieve greatness.
So what has that power.
Customers
Let’s get these out the way first. I know there were a number of times a whingey whiny customer came to me, complaining about something that really wasn’t my responsibility. Or the angry one yelling & swearing & carrying on like nobody’s business. Oh they were the ones I definitely wanted to say So what to! (and mean it with all the charm of a moody teenager)
But you really need to ask yourself So what in a few different ways and a number of times
- So what if I gave in and kept them happy
- So what if they were right
- So what if I were to step back and find out why they are so angry
- So what if I were to lose them as a client
Now the idea with these is that you need to give yourself the space to ask the questions without being angry, because that’s just not going to help anyone – especially if one of you already are.
Staff
Oh my word! Yep, I’ve managed staff. Displaced staff. Staff approaching retirement. Ugh, it was a bit of a rogues gallery. All lovely people, but boy oh boy was it rough at times. But you know what, I have learned the most from being a boss. So here are some of my of my favourites:
- So what if I gave in and kept them happy
- So what if they were right
- So what if I were to step back and find out why they are so angry
Look familiar? That’s because this isn’t about making you happy. It’s about them. Sorry, it’s true. The man thing angry people want is to be heard. If you can show them a genuine interest, you’re over half-way there. From there use what I teach in aligning values to align what you want/need achieved with their values/needs. It’s funny how quickly they are adopted as their own and behaviour improves. I’ve used these approaches on my staff and it has been used and adopted in other businesses I‘ve consulted to. The result is the same – staff buy in & improved performance. And not just to keep you quiet and off their backs, they actually believe it.
Growing your business
This is the first place I actually used these words – in assisting business owners to grow their business by determining the benefits of their service or product. I would have them ask So what.
In this instance it’s about challenging your perception of what your business is meant to look like and where you want it to go.
- So what if I decide not to do video for my business
- So what if I introduced a new product or service now or in 6/12/24 months time
- So what if I moved premises
- So what if I rebranded/changed my name
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Self
You really didn’t believe that I would let you off without asking yourself did you? We know we are our own worst enemy. Some of us can’t stand turning the mirror on ourselves, yet others do it with reckless abandon. The ones who succeed are the ones who take action.
So what kind of So what questions should you ask yourself? Here are a few I use…
- So what if I fail
- So what if it’s not perfect
- So what will this extra money mean for my family
- So what is my next step
Push yourself. This stuff was never meant to be easy, change rarely is & challenge was never meant to be. If you don’t feel uncomfortable to the point of frustration, then you need to ask yourself again So what and you may have to do this a number of times until in mental exhaustion you say ‘enough’.
These two words, while they can hurt, are incredibly powerful and used carefully can drive you and your business to places you didn’t even think possible. In fact, this is what people have said about the outcomes of me having asked these questions of them.
Kara is calm, patient & helpful
You were calm , patient and helped me understand where I stood and which direction I wanted to go in.
Kara helped me understand my mindset block which gave me a big A-ha moment!
I had been trying stuff that did not work!
Kara’s calm composed and happy disposition helps the client feel comfortable and open up. She gives the client the space to think and grow!
That she was able to cut through the clutter of my numerous thoughts and ideas and bring clarity to the situation.
I was in overwhelm - with so many thoughts about my messaging, market and how to name and use the numerous social media accounts I had in different names - that I was stuck in analysis paralysis. I was frustrated because I was energised to take action, but had no clear path forward. Within minutes she was able to pull out the important parts of what was there and help me reassemble them in a clear and usable way. The clear path appeared! Instant relief and excitement! Honestly, there were even tears...(on my end!).
While, we may be great at helping others get clarity, it is often hard to take yourself through the process objectively. Kara's experience came through in guiding me through the process, in understanding what was important and in recommending steps forward.
That she was able to bring clarity AND recommend clear steps forward.
Bec's looking forward to her future & knows Kara is there to guide her
Kara has been a very valuable part of my business, the lessons I have learnt from Kara’s workshops and personal consultations have given me an insight into the background of the world of social media; this integral in running a small business in today’s society. Businesses don’t sell themselves and neither does the promotion of your business. The tools I have acquired during my involvement with Kara will help my business both now and in the future. And with her constant enthusiasm to keeping up to date with the way things are run, I know I’ll be learning more in the future.
Kara pushes me to achieve my dream business
Kara certainly knows how to push me where I need to go. Sessions with her give me a lot of great actionable ideas, the steps necessary and some food for thought.