I recently revealed that my driving word for 2015 was ‘Growth’. The thing that constantly attacks me achieving is Fear. Over the past weeks I have seen a fair bit of fear in business owners coming out in groups or in posts, here are some of them.
- the new product won’t sell
- developing a website/Facebook/video will be too hard
- competitors will copy their work
- they will embarrass themselves
- others will talk, and
- no one will like them.
Here is where I use my Psychology degree. Unless you have been diagnosed with some form of Anxiety type condition, you can quite easily overcome your fears. Guess what, even if you do have a diagnosed Anxiety type condition, you can use these tools to overcome your fears.
I’m going to tackle the fear of technology first, because it is the easiest.
Guess what, you won’t break it! You heard me right. You will not break a website, Facebook, Newsletter subscription service, etc. You won’t break them. How do I know? I have tried and I started building websites 15 years ago. You might be thinking, “well that’s easy for you with all of that experience” but I will tell you that if you can drag and drop and use a word processor then you CAN build a website. If you can use Facebook with a personal profile, then YOU CAN run a Facebook group or business page. If you know why you are using this technology, who you are aiming it at, and what they want out of it; then you are over the hardest part. If you don’t, then read my two-part blog on finding your online voice.
The next part of fear is purely acknowledging it and not giving it any energy. Some people call this mindfulness, as a psychological tool it is the basis of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. At its core, when you feel fear rising, you acknowledge the feeling and then watch it drift away; without giving it any thought. It’s like bumping into a friend at the shops when they are rushing off to an appointment. You wave ‘hi’ or say a quick ‘hello’ and then they quickly walk off on their way. Some people envisage the fear on or as a cloud, as a boat or plane, or as some other moving object.
If you are the analytical sort then you might like the following quote I was told by the amazing Sonni from Sonni Lou Designs. Fear is “False Evidence Appearing Real”. Now think about it. What evidence do you have that what you fear will actually become reality? Have you researched and planned your decision? What evidence was there that it would all go pear-shaped? Does the likelihood of failure outweigh the chances of success, or are you going to gain more from the success?
Now let’s talk about what other people will think. There are two quotes I use in these circumstances.
The problem with worrying about what others think is that most of them don’t. Tweet this
What other people think of me is none of my business. Tweet this
When you consider the first, the people who you are worried about generally haven’t done the planning and research you have. The other thing is, they aren’t in your position, they don’t have your experience, needs, dreams, or ambitions. Conversely, the second comes in to play. You do not know where they are coming from, what their motivations are, what their belief system is, what their experience is. Ultimately, it’s their opinion – it’s not your reality and therefore it’s none of your business.
So, you’ve acknowledged the fear, you’ve looked at the evidence, and you really aren’t fussed what others think. Great!
Now, feel the fear and do it anyway!