November 2016 - Small business consultant

Monthly Archives: November 2016

how to address the fear of rejection in business - Kara Lambert Business coach

Handling the fear of rejection in business | 6 tips (Updated July 2020)

I’m/it’s not good enough… Fear of rejection in business is understandable. We all want to be wanted or needed. When we put our business, our services, or our product out there and forward for all to see – we put ourselves out there. Wide-open for criticism and/or rejection. And when that happens, it’s a reflection on ourselves.

Or so goes the story we tell ourselves!

The irony is that having a Psychology degree did not immunise me from this. In fact, in about 2009 I started going through Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) for anxiety symptoms. Anxiety is the emotion driven by fear. I continue the practice to this day through mindfulness.

Now, before you stop there and go ‘that’s it, I’m out, she’s gone all spiritual on me’, you should know that CBT is the best available therapy for fear & anxiety. It works, but the clincher is that you have to work at it.

The benefit is that it works for any fear as it revolves around challenging that shitty thinking/recording you have inside your head. The soundtrack that’s stopping you from taking that next step.

These steps might seems simplistic and I encourage you that should you feel overwhelmed at any time to reach out to your local mental health team such as Beyond Blue for support.

So how does it work for the fear of rejection in business?

Best you grab a note pad or start your voice recorder for this.

Acknowledge the fear of rejection

Yes, you have to address the elephant in the room. If you don’t acknowledge it then how can you overcome it? So in this instance you acknowledge that you are afraid that no one will book you, or that they will hate your new product, or that they think you’re a stuck up snob, or that they will find someone better/younger/cheaper.

All you have to do is acknowledge it. You are NOT to enter into that slippery downwards spiral that is feeding the fear.

Record your fear of rejection

Yes, you need to write down or record all the actual evidence of when you were rejected in the way you fear. Not the scenarios when you believe or fear it will happen, it MUST be when it actually DID happen.

Now write down ALL the times where you weren’t rejected. EVERY SINGLE ONE.

fear of rejection and self esteem in business

Reframe the fear of rejection

Now look at the rejection list and consider:
-How much of that was actually your doing, or
-Were there outside forces in play that lead to the negative situation.
-Did you do all you could?
-Is it actually likely to recur?
-Was it really a rejection or was it a ‘not now’

It’s often that what we believe and perceive differ considerably from the reality. In this step you need to be incredibly objective and clinical. You need to be able to step out of your emotions and really analyse what is making up your fear of rejection.

The other thing to consider is that sometimes the reasons we come up with aren’t really the reasons at all. They are the superficial, the acceptable, the common place, and the mask. Ask yourself, ‘Is that really so? Is there anything else?” Consider anything and everything that you come up with and ask the questions again. Dig deeper until your mind is blank and you have annoyed yourself with the badgering.

This is probably one of the most challenging steps. Well done for getting through it.

Reconsider your fear of rejection with you & your business

Now is the time to go back to that list of the evidence on why you were afraid and consider:

How reasonable are your fears?
-Are they realistic?
-Is the person feeding your fears actually achieving what you are in the same circumstances?
-Are their opinions actually valid or is it that you believe that you ‘should’ listen to them?
So what? Does it really matter what they think or believe?

Now weigh this up against the fear. Is the fear actually as large or valid as you first believed?

Do you have people around you who believe in you and what you do? Do you have clients who purchase from you? Do you have people who look to you for guidance & inspiration?  These are the ones who count, not the naysayers.

If you don’t feel supported, find a group of people who will lift you up. Find your tribe. If you’re unsure, I am more than willing to help you find your tribe.

Next step with your fear of rejection

Once you have gone through this process, which takes soul searching and addressing your fearful beliefs on your ability the next step is simple.

Asked & answered

When you are next confronted with one of the scenarios or reasons previously identified all you need do is acknowledge and let the fear pass you by. See you’ve already addressed that fear, you know that the thought behind it is flawed and now you can let it pass you by as it has been: Asked & Answered.

fear of rejection Kara Lambert business coach

Moving forward with your fear of rejection in business

I promise you that doing this exercise once will not cure you. You will have to repeat the process time and again. And while this is an abridged version, the premise is the same: identify, challenge, reframe, reconsider.

I will promise you that it gets easier and that once mastered, you can apply this to almost any fear or anxiety. Allowing you and your business to grow & prosper. I can help you move through these stages, and you can book a time to chat about how we can do that.

I also encourage you to access my free toolkit to give you extra skills for when fear stops you and your business in its tracks.

Again, if at any time you feel overwhelmed I encourage you to reach out to your local mental health team such as Beyond Blue for support.

Facebook Messenger rooms and video chat

What businesses need to know about Facebook Messenger Rooms and Private Conversations

This article has been updated to include Facebook Messenger Rooms video chat information.

Facebook Messenger Rooms and private conversations

So a little while ago I wrote on how Facebook had made some changes to Messenger around the introduction of Messenger Ads and My Story. Well this week I have come across other Facebook Messenger changes on my personal account. In this article I will be outlining the changes and why they are important for businesses.

Create a Messenger room

create-room facebook messenger Kara Lambert social media coach

First off is the new room chats. Carrying on from the popularity of group chats and as a swipe at other app based chat rooms, this functionality allows for public chats with anyone, not just friends.

These chats are searchable and generally public. So be warned! Some rooms can only be accessed if you have a link, but members of the room can share the link out wherever they please. The upside is that you can join existing ones around a particular interest, set one up, join or leave.

introduction to Facebook Messenger Rooms Karalambert social media managementHow do I see businesses using Facebook Messenger Rooms?

The big benefit I see for business owners is client research. Like the chat and bulletin boards of ‘old’, these Facebook Messenger rooms offer a wealth of information around topics that interest your fans. For example, rooms of dog owners for pet stores, tech rooms for IT companies, parent rooms for family-focused businesses etc.

Secret conversations

iOS only at this stage, don’t fret Android users I have put in a request as a beta tester. Taking another swipe at the SnapChat and other chat apps, this addition makes for a curious addition to the suite.  Let’s take a tour of a conversation I had.

secret-conversations-ios facebook messenger Kara Lambert social media coach

  1. Their image appears like a normal Facebook Messenger conversation.
  2. Indicators show if your part of the conversation has been seen
  3. How long the person has to see your comment before it disappears & a countdown timer allows you to adjust this out to up to 30 minutes.

Facebook Messenger Rooms Video Chats

At the end of April 2020, Facebook announced the addition of group video chats to Messenger rooms. It’s unknown if it’s a direct attack on the popularity of Zoom. Facebook said that they had been working on this feature for a while but had sped up development due to the global pandemic, COVID-19.

Desktop and mobile messenger room videos

Facebook Messenger Room video chats desktop Facebook Messenger Rooms video chat mobileA fantastic way to grow business, run webinars, and remove barriers to entry with customer engagement. The availability of video chats on both desktop and mobile devices is certainly going to benefit businesses who want to continue or grow face-to-face communication and relationship building with their customers.

With the advances in AR and backgrounds, the video chat is certainly going to be a fun way to engage your audience and show some of your behind the scenes personality.

Inviting people to your Facebook Messenger Video Chat

Facebook Messenger Rooms video chat inviteWhen you create a room, you choose who can see and join it. You can remove people from the call and lock a room if you don’t want anyone else to enter. Read more about the controls you have and how we built Rooms with privacy and security in mind.


secret facebook messages Kara Lambert social media management

How do Facebook Messenger Rooms benefit businesses?

I can certainly see that the adult industry would benefit from the functionality. However as conversations are between people, those wanting to keep their personal accounts private would not use this with their clients. However, if you are open or befriend your clients, you could also offer limited time vouchers or specials that expire.

Expiring offers would certainly be handy if Facebook extends the Facebook Ads platform into the secret conversations. Imagine a custom audience and an expiring voucher. (Though advanced Facebook Ads marketers would be able to do this at the moment)

Further improvements to Facebook Messenger Rooms

I am still watching with earnest how they make it work for those of us with multiple businesses or those who are Administrators on other’s accounts.

I’m interested to see how Facebook will integrate Messenger payments and access to the Messenger Room chat.

I consult on the psychology of Facebook. If you’re interested in learning more about your customer’s psychology on Facebook, how to engage your audience on Facebook, or how to grow organically on Facebooklet’s chat!


facebook messenger rooms and video chat facebook messenger video chat roooms

Australian Social Media Reports and what it means for Businesses

Back in March 2015 I was tired of reading social media reports and statistics on how businesses should be running their online presence. My problem was that these reports were out of the US and I am in Australia, consulting to mostly Australian businesses. I have to be honest, Australians use social media a little differently than the US. We generally own more mobile phones per person, we don’t use Pinterest as much, we don’t shop online as much (postage costs are too high), and in the main, Australians are early adopters of technology. So I went off and did some reading and some research, and in March 2015 I wrote this social media report for Australian business.

Fast forward 18 months and Facebook announces that there are 1.8 billion users worldwide. Back this on to conversations in my mastermind group on which social media platform businesses should use. I decide that it’s time to update my social media report for Australian business.

I have collated and summarised the following from two sources & added in my own interpretation and analysis. The main source is the Sensis Social Media Report 2016, it’s a survey of 800 Australians and 1100 Australian businesses. The second is the monthly Social Media Statistics on usage.

My analysis will be a little different to what you will see out there. I will be discussing the impacts and implications for Australian businesses on social media. Let’s get into it!

Australians on Social Media

According to the ABS, as reported by Social Media News, there are approximately 24.25 million Australians, of those 15 million use Facebook each month. That’s roughly 60% of the entire population. That’s some circulation statistic!

This report indicated that YouTube was growing and that Twitter, Google Plus, & WhatsApp were steady and that Blogging was on the decline.


What does that mean for businesses?

I will continue to advocate businesses to secure their name on a profile and decide over time if that medium is right for their target audience or content creation streams.

A note on jumping on image heavy platforms such as Instagram & Pinterest. You will need to experiment with non-traditional techniques to support and grow your following. Try video on Instagram & repining allied products or services on Pinterest.

How Australians use Social Media

The following is my interpretation of the main findings, relevant to Australian businesses or businesses wishing to target Australian consumers.

How Australians spend their time on Social Media

On average, Australians check their social media at least once or more than five times a day (24 & 26 percent respectively). Australians between the ages of 17 & 64 are more likely to check their social media at least five times a day. In fact a rough calculation indicates that Australians spend an average of 12.5 hours a week on social media.

Australians are most likely, on average & in order of popularity, to check their social media after work/evening, then first thing in the morning, at lunchtime, and then during breaks.  In fact, over 60% of Australians check their social media in the evening. Only about 50% of Australians check their social media first thing in the morning. The largest group checking their social media at lunchtime were the 18-29 year olds.

So what does it mean for Australian business owners on social media?

You’re better off posting in the evening & first thing in the morning. This means that most business owners will need to invest in a social media scheduling tool, engage a social media manager, or learn how to schedule in Facebook.

relevance of posts in social media Kara Lambert social media coach

Which Social Media platforms do Australians use?

So I mentioned above what the overall numbers were. Sensis went in and broke it down by age.

By far the most popular was Facebook, with over 90% of all age groups saying they were on the platform. For those aged 18-29 the next most popular was Snapchat. For those aged 18-39, the next most popular was Instagram. Then after that it was LinkedIn for the 30-64 year old age group. The largest following for Twitter was in the 18-29 year old group with 33% saying they used Twitter. It is interesting to note that 34% of those surveyed said they has stopped using Twitter in the past year.

While the majority of people aged 18-64 used a smartphone to access their social media, the majority of people aged over 65 used a desktop computer. Interestingly, while 52% of people aged 50-64 said they used a smartphone to access social media, 48% said they used a desktop computer.

So what are the implications for Australian businesses?

If you’re not on Facebook, you’re missing out – even if your target market is aged over 65. Additionally, if you are running ads on Facebook, you need to consider your age group and where you place your ad, mobile only vs desktop vs app.

Why Australians use social media

By and large we use social media to connect with friends and family. Though on average, about 20% of Australians aged 30+ use it to research purchases, brands, & holidays. Of those researching on social media, 44% did it on a mobile device.

What does this mean for businesses?

It means that you need to maintain a presence as 1 in 5 people are looking for information to make a purchase via social media. Also, you need to consider mobile ad placements in your advertising (though consider the age demographic).

What do Australian consumers want from brands on social media?

While 41% of people surveyed said that they wanted discounts on social media, this has dropped from 66% in 2013 and it has been a steady decline. Of interest, 34% (and the next largest group) said that they actually didn’t want any kind of offer from brands they follow on social media. The next tier (30%) said that they wanted giveaways or exclusive offers.

52% of those surveyed said that they were more likely to trust a brand if they interacted positively with their customers on social media and if their content was engaging and relevant. 51% said that they were more likely to trust them if they regularly posted. Interestingly, 49 % said that they do not trust brands with large numbers of followers (30% said they did). Conversely 52% said that they would unfollow a brand because their content was irrelevant or unappealing and 32 % because they posted too much content.

On average 30% of all surveyed said they would provide a review online, those aged 30-39 were most likely at 37%. Almost 60% of all surveyed said they use reviews or blogs to make their purchase decisions. With 74% of those aged 40-49 saying that they use reviews.

How is this important to businesses?

It is interesting to note that fewer Australians want discounts and the number who didn’t want any incentive is stable over the past three years.

social media vanity metrics Kara Lambert social media coach

Main takeaways from Businesses surveyed

So what were the two main things I noticed about the businesses surveyed? Firstly that across small, medium and big business all tiers would spend at least the same amount on social media advertising in the coming year and at least 50% said they anticipate spending more.

The biggest surprise was the following:

Between 52 and 75% of ALL businesses surveyed measured the success of their social media investment by the number of likers, followers, or subscribers they had.

Now consider what I said earlier that the majority of Australian consumers distrust brands with high follower numbers. This success indicator was the largest of all those considered in the survey & in fact the difference between it and the next indicator was of statistical significance.

So what does this mean for businesses?

Firstly most either believe that they now need to ‘pay to play’ on social media and that they need to keep paying as their competitors come online or increase expenditure & the marketplace becomes more competitive.

Secondly, business owners do not understand that follower numbers are a vanity metric and in fact turn away fans rather than attract them.

What are the key points for Australian social media use?

  • Stop worrying about how many likers or followers you have, your fans don’t care.
  • Relevant and engaging content is crucial for social media success.
  • Boring content is a bigger turn off than posting too often.
  • Don’t worry about offering discounts on social media. Or don’t make it a focus.
  • Schedule posts for the evening, after you have closed for the day.
  • If you are targeting people aged over 65, make sure your ads are optimised for desktop exposure.

How to get inside your client’s head

OMG Kara, you’re inside my head! Well yes & no! I am often told that I have gotten inside of a client’s head. They are amazed with how I do it. I promise it’s not magic & that you don’t have to study psychology for 3 years like I did. To know your clients better than they know themselves is a skill you can learn so you can get inside your client’s head.


The easiest way to get inside your client’s head is to listen to them. We have 2 ears but only one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak. Clients will tell you a lot about  themselves, your business, & how they come together if only you give them the space and make them feel valued.

Ask enough clients and you will see trends & patterns forming. Look at the questions being asked, do they keep recurring. Look at the comments posted, can you see similarities. Pay particular attention to the complaints and compliments as these can be hard to come by.


Ask your clients for feedback, how you help them, what their biggest issue is with your industry, what holds them back from using people in your industry more. Honestly, just ask. You don’t even have to set up a fancy poll or questionnaire. I actually find my best results come when I ask people to answer one question by replying to an email. That’s it, just one question. Just hit reply. It’s simple and it doesn’t take a lot of time.

Here’s the thing about asking, if you don’t ask the answer is ‘no’, if you do ask the answer can always be ‘yes’. So stop putting words in your clients’ mouths by being afraid of them saying ‘no’ to your request. In the main, most people just want to help. Good, bad, or indifferent – they want to help.



There are a few ways to research the issues. First of all there are forums and groups. Type your field of interest into google along with forum or group and have a read. You can also ask questions to provoke a deeper understanding.

Head on over to the website and ask. There you will be presented with a number of options/questions/concerns for you to answer.

Look for book reviews in your industry and see what questions or problems they raise in the reviews and use these to help you answer your clients.

There is one last way to get inside your client’s head – profile them


The key piece of data that business owners avoid is listing their clients’ fears, beliefs, & goals. These are the driving forces of their behaviour. You need to understand them in order to best service their needs.


People move towards pleasure and away from pain. If you have information to drive them in either direction – use it. If you show them that you understand these they will be looking over their shoulder and wondering how you got inside your client’s head!